Ok....here goes again.... Its feels like its been so long since i updated this thing. So, I still feel like everything in my life is complicated. I got some bad news on wednesday about my school. I guess it was kinda my fault but it was still upsetting. I got a letter and I was denied financial aid for this next semester because evidentally I dropped one class too many last spring. So now I'm stuggling with that fact that I have to pay for classes this coming semester with my parents help. I'm so grateful they are here to help me but at the same time, I wanted to do it all on my own. So, I was really disappointed about that.

On another note, I've been having boy issues again. I finally believe I have convinced my ex to stop trying to talk to me after many attempts. The whole situation was just a bad one but I believed that I could make it work. God definately said NO and so did my brother to begin with but you know "I'm always right" God told me that was a BIG NO!

I also still need some help with just being able to change my life around and live the healthy lifestyle that I know I should be. Its so hard once you've lived the way you wanted to and cared about nothing else. I'm only telling ya'll this because I know you'll help me with it. I kinda feel like I've been in a slight state of depression. I try to hide it from pretty much everyone but my mom. I just feel so lost and lonely. I really need some help with this but I don't know where to start. I admire my sister-in-law for being so positive towards me with everything thats been going on. I just wish I could always think like that and know that there is a perfect plan for me. Alot of the time I don't believe it. How am I supposed to go on with my life and just trust that God is going to put someone in my life that I don't even know. I want to know everything right now!