Alot of times I wonder what other people in the church are going through and what their walk with Christ is like. This past Sunday evening, I had a chance to interact, conversate, discuss and pray with a few of the elders in the church. Its amazing how much we can learn from each other. I truly want to know their hearts desires and struggles. I expressed to them how I need discipling and through that they could learn about me also. I was surpised to hear from them that they want to how "we younger people" work. Its crazy how two generations can be completely different.
On another note, I started school on Monday and I think so far I have done more reading from a text book than I have done in quite a while. I feel like my brain in stuttering a bit. Please be in prayer for me as I literally work though school. I'm taking 12 hours this semester plus 25 hours of work. Pray that I am able to manage my time properly.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
I Believe
As I look back and read my previous blogs (yes, I know its been over a year and a half since I blogged) I can see what a change I have made in my life. I was reading the old posts and praising God for never leaving my side. I have come a long, long, long way from where I was spiritually and emotionally.
In the past year and a half I have overcome enourmous obstacles that I could never have gotten through if it wasn't for my true friends, family and Jesus. I was at the low of lows. Spritually, I had almost denied Jesus and was ashamed of calling myself a christian. I thought I could get through anything on my own because of course I had control of everything. Right?! WRONG!!!! My non spiritual state and bottled up crazy emotions had led me to a life of bitterness, pain, hurt, resentment and hatred. I tried to handle it all on my own which ultimately led me to become and alcoholic at the age of 22 (now almost 24). At the time, I didn't realize what I was doing to myself and my family. I am so incredibly grateful to have a family like I do. Even though I was putting them through my rollercoaster they loved me.
In December of 2009, I had a major meltdown. I was on the way home from a friends wedding, with my amazing sister-in-law, and finally opened up to her about what was going on in my life. If it wasn't for her loving, caring and trustworthy spirit, I would never had been able to ask for help. Asking for help was the hardest thing I have ever done. I was in way to deep to even try pulling myself out. With her and a friends help and resources I was able to recieve remarkable help. At this time, I will have been a recovering alcoholic for 8 months. I struggled for a long time with the shame I brought on myself and the underlying emotional problems I had. I have finally been able to endure through the process of dealing with my emotions and my alcohol problems. I am 8 months sober!
God can and will still use me to do His work in His kingdom! I have committed myself to seeking and serving the Lord with all my heart. I have come so far from where I was and still have further to go in my journey of being recovered and seeking the Lord. I have an amazing family and amazing friends that love and care for me more than I can imagine. When I thought God was going to throw me away he reminded me that he will never leave nor forsake me. He sacrificed His Son on that dreadful cross just so I could screw up time and time again and still have a place at His right hand. I am constantly amazed at the work Christ is doing in my life and in others.
Please do not think I posted this for others to have pity on me and for some to tell me its ok. I don't want your pity. I do want your prayers. I do want to use my life as a testimony for Christ. Please help me fight for Christ.
I will be using my blog as a place for me to put my thoughts as I wrestle through trying to understand what God has for me to learn.
In the past year and a half I have overcome enourmous obstacles that I could never have gotten through if it wasn't for my true friends, family and Jesus. I was at the low of lows. Spritually, I had almost denied Jesus and was ashamed of calling myself a christian. I thought I could get through anything on my own because of course I had control of everything. Right?! WRONG!!!! My non spiritual state and bottled up crazy emotions had led me to a life of bitterness, pain, hurt, resentment and hatred. I tried to handle it all on my own which ultimately led me to become and alcoholic at the age of 22 (now almost 24). At the time, I didn't realize what I was doing to myself and my family. I am so incredibly grateful to have a family like I do. Even though I was putting them through my rollercoaster they loved me.
In December of 2009, I had a major meltdown. I was on the way home from a friends wedding, with my amazing sister-in-law, and finally opened up to her about what was going on in my life. If it wasn't for her loving, caring and trustworthy spirit, I would never had been able to ask for help. Asking for help was the hardest thing I have ever done. I was in way to deep to even try pulling myself out. With her and a friends help and resources I was able to recieve remarkable help. At this time, I will have been a recovering alcoholic for 8 months. I struggled for a long time with the shame I brought on myself and the underlying emotional problems I had. I have finally been able to endure through the process of dealing with my emotions and my alcohol problems. I am 8 months sober!
God can and will still use me to do His work in His kingdom! I have committed myself to seeking and serving the Lord with all my heart. I have come so far from where I was and still have further to go in my journey of being recovered and seeking the Lord. I have an amazing family and amazing friends that love and care for me more than I can imagine. When I thought God was going to throw me away he reminded me that he will never leave nor forsake me. He sacrificed His Son on that dreadful cross just so I could screw up time and time again and still have a place at His right hand. I am constantly amazed at the work Christ is doing in my life and in others.
Please do not think I posted this for others to have pity on me and for some to tell me its ok. I don't want your pity. I do want your prayers. I do want to use my life as a testimony for Christ. Please help me fight for Christ.
I will be using my blog as a place for me to put my thoughts as I wrestle through trying to understand what God has for me to learn.
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