Addicted too...

Taylor got me on this one!

Rules are, you must list 5 addictions and pass it to 5 people!
Addiction -- an abnormally strong craving

1.Joey and Sassie. (i know thats kind of two, but its one in the same). Joey and Sassie are my dogs. I love them as if they were my children. Sometimes I let them stay at Granny's house for a night and I miss them so much that I can't wait to see them.

2.Late night TV. I have to watch Two and a half men, Friends and Sex in the City almost every night. Sometimes I can't even look at the TV that late at night or I'll have to turn in on instead of going to bed.

3. Mom. I'm addicted to my mom. I'm very lucky and greatful to say that I have a mom that is one of my very best friends.

4. Milk. I have to have atleast one glass of milk every morning. I love milk.

5. Cell phone. I feel naked without it.

Ok, sorry mine was pretty boring. but now its your turn..... Andelicia, Jenni, and whoever else wants to particpate, It was kind of fun!

WHOLE Hearted or HeartLESS???

I was thankfully raised in a wonderful christian home, with great parents to look up to, that loved each other so much, and a brother that fell in love with a wonderful woman, and they love each other whole heartedly. I have such a big heart, it seems like everytime I try to give it, its just thrown back at me all crumbled up. I am struggling so bad with what seems to be an endless game. I don't understand why some people can say they love you and the next day do something so awful and hurt you so badly. Why can't I find that person who wants to give their heart to me whole heartedly just like I do? I don't understand how some people can be so heartLESS. I wish I could move away from my current home. Don't get me wrong, I love my own space but its so hard to live so close to people that have hurt me so badly. I want to start all over somewhere else and have a clean slate. I could move now but I can't afford to break my lease. Its more expensive to leave than it is to stay. I want and need new friends that will love on me and be true friends. I'm not forgetting my current true friends. If it weren't for them, then I don't know how I could still even stand to live here.

I had a really great talk with my dad today. Yes! My Dad! (those of you who know my dad, he is very quite and to himself) I talked to him about this issue I was having and he reminded me of the passage in the Bible when Jesus wept. The Jews hated him, rejected him, did awful things to him, but Jesus still loved and cared about them no matter what. Sometimes I wish I could not care at all and be selfish. But as a christian, I was taught to love no matter what and try to be selfless. Its really hard for me right now to love no matter what. Especially, someone who has somewhat betrayed me. It comforts me to know that Jesus felt hurt to when he was rejected. It gives me hope that someday I'm going to be loved whole heartedly by someone else. I've also come to the realization, Finally, after Taylor has told me this many times, I'm going to have to be in the right place with Christ before I can get what I have longed for such a long time. I don't just want companionship, I want Love, TRUE WHOLE HEARTED LOVE!!!

Why can't I get my messy life cleaned up right?